2. Chillax in Oakland. Leave Oakland. Abandon best friends, band, and a sweet mansion. Check.
3. Find my Roots in Colombia. Check
4. Find Jesus in Argentina. Check.
5. Move to LA to seek stardom and prove to Oakland folks that the city does indeed kick ass
6. Oh wait, I have no money, so actually move to Chino Hills to save money and in the process
exponentially increase existential angst.
7. Suburbs show their strengths, which include and are limited to: free meals, laundry, and posting fatty leans poolside while drinking
margaritas. A la this guy.8. While joining the ranks of starving actors and wannabe LA success stories, I focus hard
on not becoming THIS Hollywood dude.
9. Revel in unemployment. Grow increasingly terrified about unemployment. End unemployment by finding jobs that begin after labor day. Check.
FALL '08 COMING ATTRACTIONS:
I attempt to save my tiny paychecks in hopes of moving to LA in the winter. I make use of my gym membership so I can appear topless in telenovelas. I get paid scrilla to teach anxious high schoolers SAT English and pop in physics videos throughout the local schools. I study for the LSAT so that I can make a quick, profit-laden escape from LA in three years when I have become the dude from picture #8 (aka talk often about pilots I'm not actually making, spend my weekends trying to network at the Standard and Hyde, and pretend I'm Wilmer Valderrama's cousin to get into da club).
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