1. Blacksmith: Globalization will have landed all the cushy financial and IT jobs in exotic locales like Dubai and Venezuela, so it's time to think about some good tangible work. If I were to become a blacksmith, I could make sweet metal stuff, use my skills to trade for food and other necessary goods, and I could build a safe house to protect myself from the scavenging rogues.
2. Shoe maker: I suggest schools like ITT tech start offering classes on shoe making. Everyone needs shoes. In the future, shoes will be the one thing to distinguish American citizens from other 3rd world citizens, so making shoes will be a really good trade. Another great upside is the facial hair you can grow, as seen below.
3. Bartender: If Ireland and mid life crises have taugh us anything, it's that when times are hard there's nothing better than a couple years spent numbing your sorrows through drinking. The future of economy will be good times for bartenders, as everyone will be drowning their sorrows. Act now!
4. Prostitute. If Amsterdam and mid-life crises have taught us anything, it's that people will seek short lived thrills by paying for sex in order to escape the trapped boredom of their lives. It's the oldest profession for a reason...It's recession-proof. I've been going to the gym a little bit extra lately, so I'm extra limber and could really see myself thriving in this profession. Plus you can't outsource these jobs. Let's face it, no red-blooded American wants their prostitution experience to be awkward phone sex with a lady with a thick Indian accent claiming her name is "Cherry" and she lives in the Valley. This is one job where the personal experience is everything, ergo being bulletproof against economic downswings AND globalization.
You know what they say, "when life gives you lemons, run to the bank to take out your money right now and start hording canned goods." It's the economy of the future, and damnit, I'll be ready.
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